Saturday, July 12, 2008

Why BPO Call Centerd Guys Are Paid So Much


1) Tech Support             : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer                      : "Ok."

Tech Support                 : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer                      : "No."

Tech Support                 : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer                      : "No."

Tech Support                 : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer                      : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."


2) Customer      : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."

Tech                 : "Did you install the update?"

Customer          : "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"


3)Customer       : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

                : "Tell me what you've done."

Customer          : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."

Tech                 : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."  

Customer          : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."

Tech                 : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer          : "What?"

Tech                 : "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer          : "No..."


4) Customer      : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

Tech                 : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)


5) Tech             : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer          : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Tech                 : ##### ***


6) Tech             : "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer          : "A white one."

Tech                 : ******_____####  


7) Tech             : "What operating system are you running?"

Customer          : "Pentium."

Tech                 : ////-----+++


8). Customer     : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

Tech                 : ??????


9).Cus tomer     : "I have Microsoft Exploder."

Tech                 : ?!%#$


10).Customer     : "How do I print my voicemail?"

Tech                 : ??????


11). Customer    : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech                 : "What does it say?"

Customer          : "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech                 : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer          : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

Tech                 : @@@@@


12). Tech           : "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer          : "Is that Eastern time?"


13). Tech           : "What does the screen say now?"

Customer          : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech                 : "Well?"

Customer          : "How do I know when it's ready?"

Tech                 : *** ---- ++++


The best of the lot

14)  A plain computer illiterate guy rings Tech Support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech     : What's the problem?

User     : There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech     : (keep quite)

Tech     : You'll need a new power supply.

User     : No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech     : Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User     : No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

Tech     :          

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech     : (hush hush)

Tech     : Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User     : I knew it!

Tech     : Just add the line LOAD
NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS . Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User     : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech     : Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User     : MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech     : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User     : I need a new power supply.

Tech     : How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech     : (hush hush)

User     : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech     : Then what did he say?

User     : He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.


Heights Of all (Too Good)

15) Customer care officer            :I need a product identification number right now and may I help u in finding it out?

Cust     : sure

CCO     : could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?

Cust     : I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?