Reason Why Never Visit a 5 * (Five Star) Hotel

Question : " What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: " Tea please "

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? Black or white ?"
Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ? "
Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey? "
Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question: "White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst Read more....

Heart Surgery for Free of Cost in Bangalore - Sri Sathya Sai Institute

Little Hearts Can Keep Beating
For Free Of Cost

For most parents of children requiring heart surgery, the cost is un-affordable.

Now here is a good news. An institute in Bangalore, India, performs any kind of heart surgery, free of cost.


Address:

Sri Sathya Sai Institute Higher Medical Science,
E.P.I.P Area,
White Field,
Bangalore 560066

Telephone: +91 - 080 - 28411500
Fax: +91 - 080 - 28411502

Email: adminblr@sssihms.org.in

Read more....

Nice Poem on the 'Last Day of College' - Hindi Kavita in English

Raah dekhi thi is din ki kabse,
Aage ke sapne saja rakhe the naajane kab se.
Bade utavle the yahaan se jaane KO,
Zindagi ka agla padaav paane KO.

Par naa jane kyon ..Dil mein aaj kuch aur aata hai,
Waqt ko rokne ka jee chahta hai.

Jin baton ko lekar rote the Aaj un par hansi aati hai,
Na jaane kyon aaj un palon ki yaad bahut aati hai .

Kaha karte the ..Badi mushkil se char saal seh gaya,
Par aaj kyon lagta hai ki kuch peeche reh gaya.

Na bhoolne wali kuch yaadein reh gayi,
Yaadein jo ab jeene ka sahara ban gayi.

Meri taang ab kaun kheencha karega ,
Sirf mera sir khane kaun mera peecha karega.
Jahaan 2000 ka hisaab nahin wahaan 2 rupay ke liye
kaun ladega,

Kaun raat bhar saath jag kar padega ,
Kaun mere naye naye naam banayega.
Mein ab bina matlab kis se ladoonga,
Bina topic ke kisse faalto baat karoonga ,

Kaun fail hone par dilasa dilayega,
Kaun galti se number aane par gaaliyaan sunayega .

Dhabe par Chaay kis ke saath piyoonga ,
Wo haseen pal ab kis ke saath jiyoonga,

Aise dost kahaan milenge Jo khai mein bhi dhakka de aayein,
Par fir tumhein bachane khud bhi kood jayein.

Mere gaano se pareshaan kaun hoga ,
Kabhi muje kisi ladki se baat karte dekh hairaan kaun hoga ,

Kaun kahega saale tere joke pe hansi nahin aai ,
Kaun peeche se bula ke kahega..aage dekh bhai .

Achanak bin matlab ke kisi ko bhi dekh kar paglon ki
tarah hansna,
Na jaane ye fir kab hoga .

Doston ke liye professor se kab lad payenge ,
Kya hum ye fir kar payenge,

Kaun muje mere kabiliyat par bharosa dilayega,
Aur jyada hawa mein udne par zameen pe layege ,

Meri khushi mein sach mein khush kaun hoga ,
Mere gam mein muj se jyada dukhi kaun hoga...

KEH DO DOSTON YE DOBAARA KAB HOGA ....????

Related articles:

• 18 Best Rules for Life
• Our College Life
• The Last Class of College (fantastically written)

Read more....

You Can Save One Life from STROKE - Very Important

Request you to kindly inform this to as many as you can. It is for a good cause, because life is striving to make good causes everyday!!

You could save a life.

STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Letters... S.T.R

My friend sent this to me and encouraged me to post it and spread the word. I agree. If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks.

During a party, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. (they offered to call ambulance)

They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ramya went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ramya's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm , Ramya passed away.)

She had suffered a stroke at the party. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today.

Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. It only takes a minute to read this...

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

Recognizing A Stroke

Remember the '3' steps, STR . Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify.

Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster.

The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions

S * Ask the individual to SMILE .
T * = TALK. Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (eg 'It is sunny out today').
R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS .

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks,

call the Ambulance and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is

1. Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue.
2. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke.

A prominent cardiologist says if everyone who reads this information sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.

….and it could be your own…..

PASS THIS ON….

Read more....

Civil Engineer and his master plan for STAIRCASE...

Observe the staircase of this building.. What an Engineer and What a plan ??

Read more....

IPL Cheerleaders - 2

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IPL Cheerleaders

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Jokes Collection - 2

Smile a while... J 1) Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep,  forgot his family,  forgot his food, forgot laughter were called

"Saints"

But now they are called as "IT professionals"

*************

 

2)

An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:

"If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"

 

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3)

Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..

Love is always present..   Its just that,

One loves too much, And

the other loves too many,

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4) Employee: Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary..!

 

BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company..!

 

 

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5) 

Philosophy of life

At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as

GOD,

Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!

************* 

6) What is a Fear?

Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new and Just few hours left for your exams..!

************* 

7)

Someone has rightly said,

"A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer"

 

No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!

 

 

*************

8.) Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?

Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"

Girl: That's good, Give me 12 of them..!

 

*************

9) After reading the form filled by an applicant..

The employer said: " WE do have an...  opening for you..! "

Applicant:

What is it?

Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"

*************

10) A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..

Drive Slowly, Don't kill our Employee..... Leave them to us

Read more....

Jokes Collection - 1

Duniya Gol Hai:

 

Chuha Billi se darta hai,
Billi Kutte se darti hai,

Kutta Aadmi se darta hai,
Aadmi Biwi se darta hai,

Biwi Chuhhe se darti hai.!

Duniya Gol Hai..

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Ek sharabi marne laga tab bhagwan pratyaksh hoke "Koi antim ichcha?"

Sharabi: Agle janam me ek liver extra laga dena....!

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Ek macchar ek takle ke sar par ja baita...

Dusra macchar bola:- Waha kya ghar dunda hai..

Pehla macchar bola:- Ghar kaha re abi to sirf PLOT karida hai...

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Boy to girl: Hey if i climb this coconut tree, I can see Engg college girls.

Girl: Leave both the hands from there, U can see medical college girls..

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Judge- Is sardar ke dono kan kaat do.

Sardar- Nahin mai andha hojaunga.

Judge- kan katne se andha kaise hoga?

Sardar- chashma kya tere baap ke kan pe bethaunga

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Sardarji went to his neighbours house for function & had some snacks.

Sardar: CHAKLI Kitna different & tasty hai!

Neighbr: wo CHAKLI nahi, MOSQUITO COIL hai....

 

Note: Chakli is a kind of snaks prepared in some states of India.

http://www.aayisrecipes.com/2006/09/14/moong-daal-chakli/
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Teacher: U idiots! At your age Einstein ranked first in class. Wt abt u..?

Student: Sir at your age Hitler committed suicide..! Wt abt u..?

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Funny Software Error Messages

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Shocking Telegrams

TELEGRAM #1


A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as:


"father, your daughter has been successful in BED."


************ ***


TELEGRAM #2


A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a  telegram to his wife: "I wish you were here."


The message received by wife:  "I wish you were her."

 

************ ***


 TELEGRAM #3


A wife with near maturing pregnan! Cy goes to railway station to return to her husband.


At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket.


Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as:


 "Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady."
 


************ ***


TELEGRAM #4


A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake.


The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.


Well he thinks for a while and says:


Let's put, "you are not getting older you are getting better".


The salesman asks, "How do you want me to put it?"


The man says, Well put "You are not getting older", at the top and "! You are getting better" at the bottom.


The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:


"You are not getting older at the top, you are getting better at the bottom".



************ ***

 
TELEGRAM #5


A man from Agra went to Ajmer. His wife was in her parent's house in Delhi .


When the man went to Ajmer, he asked his servant to send a telegram to his wife indicating about his trip to Ajmer.


He sent a telegram. When the wife received the telegram, she fainted.


It was written:

'Sethji aaj mar ! Gaye! (Sethji Ajmer gaye )


************ ***

Read more....

Sardar Jokes - Picnic, Soda, Snacks

Once 3 Sardars decided to go on a picnic.

When they got there, they realized that they had forgotten the soda.

The youngest Sardar said he would go home & get it if they wouldn't eat the snacks until he got back.


The other two agreed to wait patiently.

An hour went by,

Then a Day,

followed by a week,

a month,

finally a year...



the 2 Sardars said

'Oh, come on, let's eat the snacks'

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Suddenly the Young Sardar popped up from behind a rock and said


'If you do like this, I won't go.'

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Follow in your life..Enjoy your weekend..Have Fun

Problems may come but u must take it as a "ROYAL CHALLENGE "


Otherwise people will call u an "OLD MONK"


And that will be a "BLACK LABEL" to u.


But u must fight like "NAPOLEAN",


Live like a "BAGPIPER",


Strut around like "JHONNY WALKER",


Work till "8PM",



Think like a "DIRECTOR SPECIAL"



.....And do not forget the cute little "BLACK DOG"



Then your life will be like an "IMPERIAL BLUE"



And if you do above things there will be good value for your "SIGNATURE " .....



! ! ! Cheers ! ! !



Stay Blessed forever and always!

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Mindblowing Story - Do you know the Answer ?

An Indian and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.

The American asks if he would like to play a fun-game.

The Indian, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa."

Again, the Indian declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."

This gets the Indian's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Indian doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."

So the Indian asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American thinks about it. No answer.

Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references.

No answer!

He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress.

No answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers.

Checks the input. All to no avail!

Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Indian and hands him $500.

The Indian thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.

The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Indian and asks,

"Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Indian reaches into his purse, hands the American $5, and goes back to sleep!

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Deadlock..

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.

Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tution: I have work for a week, so you need not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Lets spend the week together.

Grandpa( the 1st boss ;) ) Makes call to his secretary: This week I am spending my time with my grandson.

We cannot attend that meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we cancelled our trip.

Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private tution: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class.

Sorry I can't give you company.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement.

HOW IS IT ????

This is called " Dead Lock "

Read more....

Biggest Dogs In The World

The Giant Dog !!!

The couple with their White Horse and the Big Dog

Granny with 2 Big Dogs

The Big Dog dancing with its owner

Oh... The Big Dog peeping out from the Window of Car

The Big Black Dog with its owner

The Big Dog sitting in the park with its owner

The Big White Dog with small kid

Read more....