Kabhi Honda Chalaya Kya? - Bihari Vs Sardarji - Nice Joke

One day there was a Bihari going in a Fiat Car at 45 KMPH on a high way and enjoying his drive. Suddenly a Sardaji came zooooooooooooooooming on a Honda and peeped into the car and shouted at the Bihari 'Kabhi Honda chalaya kya?' and sped off....

 

The Bihari was surprised but he did not bother. 

After some time the Sardarji came zoooooooooom... in the opposite direction, peeped into the car and shouted again 'kabhi honda chalaya kya?' and speed off, This time the Bihari was annoyed , since the Sardar was teasing about his driving. 

After some time again the Sardar came back speeding and said the same thing peeping into the car . 

 

The Bihari was about to say something but the Sardar sped off. This time the Bihari increased his speed but suddenly stopped as he found the Sardar lying on the road, bleeding.. He got down and mocked at the sardar ' Kyon Sardarji , Kabhi Honda Chalaye kya?'

The sardar said  arre...' Wohi to puch raha tha , Brakes kahaan hain dhoond raha tha'!! 

 

 

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What a Confidence - Conversation between Gurmukh and Mr. Bush - Joke of the day!!

George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.

'Hello, Mr. Bush!' a heavily accented voice said, 'This is Gurmukh from Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab ..... I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring the war on you!'

'Well, Gurmukh,' Bush replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is your army'

'Right now,' said Gurmukh, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbor Bhagat, and the entire kabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes eight'

Bush paused. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.'

'Arrey O! Main kya..' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to ring you back!'

Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again.

'Mr. Bush, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from Phagwara STD, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!'

'And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh' Bush asked.

'Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's tractor.'

Bush sighed. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke.'

'Oh teri....' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to get back to you.'

Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.

'Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne...... We've modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four school pass boys from Malpur have joined us as well!'

Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!'

'Tera pala hove....' said Gurmuk, 'I'll have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day.

'Kiddan, Mr.Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.'

'I'm sorry to hear that,' said Bush. 'Why the sudden change of heart'

'Well,' said Gurmukh, 'we've all had a long chat over a couple of lassi's, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of wars!'

NOW THAT'S CALLED CONFIDENCE

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2 Suicide Bomb Blast in Pakistan, Islamabad - Atleast 60 People Dead

As per the recent news, At least 60 people were killed and scores injured when two suicide attackers blew themselves up Thursday (August 21, 2008)outside the entry gates of Pakistan's largest military munitions plant, the police and hospital officials said. The brazen, coordinated attack, the latest on a military target, was the deadliest in the country in more than a year. The Pakistani Taliban claimed responsibility.

The bombings came just days after the resignation of President Pervez Musharraf, leaving two rival political parties in the governing coalition haggling over the question of succession and adding a new layer of turbulence to an unstable, nuclear-armed nation. Neither party has been anxious to take on the campaign against the militants, which is seen here as an American conflict foisted on the country.

The large military compound is located in the city of Wah, in the same district as the city of Rawalpindi, where Pakistan's military has its headquarters. The attack occurred during the afternoon rush hour at a shift change, while workers were exiting the compound gates.

Nasir Durrani, a regional police official in the Rawalpindi district, which includes Wah, said one attack occurred outside the main gate to the compound and the second attack took place outside another gate.

Panic gripped the area after the attack. Ambulances rushed to Wah from the nearby garrison city of Rawalpindi and security personnel cordoned off the area around the compound.

As the ruling coalition wrangles over who will succeed Mr. Musharraf, the country is facing an emboldened Taliban insurgency that is rapidly moving beyond its sanctuaries in the tribal regions of Pakistan and reaching into other parts of the country.


Links: MyToday News

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Axis Bank Website is Not Opening Since Yesterday

Its very strange that the website of one of the big bank, AXIS, is not getting opened since yesterday!! (August 15, 08). How come one of the best bank is not able to put its website live? There is not even any email regarding this. The site is www.axisbank.com - Do anybody has success in opening since yesterday? If yes, please let me know.

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Marc Faber Comment on US Economy

Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the Following:

"The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on beer, since these are the only products still produced in US. I've been doing my part."

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Good Eye Exercise - Spot the Hidden Odd Alphabet or Number

Can u find the B (there are 2B's)?

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR

Once youve found the 'B', Find the 1

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIII1III
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Once you found the 1............ ... Find the 6

9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999699999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999
9999999999999999999 999999999999999

Once you have found the 6... Find the N (it's hard!!)

MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM

Once you've found the N... Find the Q...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO

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Helmet Rules and Regulations in Kerala

As per new rule in Kerala, no Helmet is required for those who are sitting behind!!!!!!!

Just see how keralites obey the order!

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Women And Their Craze For Possessions - Crazy

A woman parked her brand-new Lexus in front of her office ready to show it off to her colleagues. As she got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side.

The woman immediately grabbed her cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the woman started screaming hysterically.

 

Her Lexus, which she had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.

 

When the woman finally wound down from her ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.

"I can't believe how materialistic you women are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the woman.

The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"OH MY GOD!" screamed the woman. "Where's my new bracelet?

 

 

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Angelina Jolie and Brad Pit's (Brangelina) Twins Photos - Costliest Million Dollar Celebrity Kids - Published on People and Hello Magazine

One of the most awaited pictures of 'Brad Pitt' and 'Angelina Jolies' Twins photos are published in 'People' and 'Hello' Magazines.

Since the time, Anglina Jolie gave birth to the Twins on July 12, Nice, France, the speculations were high as which magazine will get the rights to publish the exclusive photos and for what cost.

At last, the million dollar celebrity kids, Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline, bagged around $14m from the 'People' and 'Hello' magazines. The celebrity pair, Brad Pitt and Anglina Jolie have decided to donate all the money to the charitable purpose.

The exclusive photo shoot with Knox, Vivienne, Jolie, Pitt and the couple's other four children, Maddox, Zahara, Pax and Shiloh was conducted by Getty Images.

Angelina Jolie and actor partner Brad Pitt are already parents to adopted children Maddox, Pax, Zahara, and biological daughter Shiloh.

In India, I guess, the first photo of Hottest Celebrity Pair, Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai's (Ash-Abhi) first baby will bag the huge money!!!

Related Links: Opens in new window

• Article on 'People' Magazine
• Article on 'Hello' Magazine
• Some other Celebrity Kids
• The video telling the News of Brangelina's Twins Birth

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Why Women Are So Special

Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, 'I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed.'

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.

She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the excursion and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her bag.

Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night Solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.

Dad called out, 'I thought you were going to bed.' 'I'm on my way,' she said. She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and radios, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the basket, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack.

She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. 'I'm going to bed.' And he did...without another thought.

Anything extraordinary here?

Wonder why women live longer...? 'CAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL...... (and we can't die sooner, we still have things to do!!!!)

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Picture Of The Year 2008 - Software Engineers - IT Industry

See the Output of our IT Industry..

The fate of Our Proud Sofware Engineers!!!!

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Farq Sirf Itna Sa Tha - Emotional Hindi Kavita, Shayari

 

Teri doli uthi,
Meri mayyat uthi,
Phool tujh par bhi barse,
Phool mujh par bhi barse,


FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,

Tu saj gayi,
Mujhe sajaya gaya ,
Tu bhi ghar ko chali,
Main bi ghar ko chala,


FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,


Tu uth ke gayi,
Mujhe uthaya gaya ,
Mehfil wahan bhi thi,
Log yahan bhi the,


FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,

Unka hasna wahan,
Inka rona yahan,
Qazi udhar bhi tha, Molvi idhar bhi tha,

Do bol tere pade, Do bol mere pade,
Tera nikah pada, Mera janaaza pada,

FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,


Tujhe apnaya gaya ,
Mujhe dafnaya gaya

 

 

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Situation on a Salary Day !!! - How will it be?

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Solar Eclipse - When and Where? - Canda, Russia, Mongolia, China, India, Karnataka, Delhi, Mumbai, Chennai, Kolkata

Today ie August 1, 2008 will witness the 'Solar Eclipse'. One of the rare natural phenomenon which occurs once in many years. Today once again the day has come. 'Solar Eclipse' is the result of moon coming in between the Sun and Earth.

A total Solar Eclipse will be visible in Canada extending across Northern Greenland, the Arctic, Central Russia, Mongolia and China. The elipse starts at 1:34 PM and will end at 6:08 PM

In India, the partial Solar Eclipse will be seen starting from about 4.00 PM except Nagaland and Mizoram

Where and at what time? Hoping there won't be rain and sky will be clear

• Bangalore - Starts at 4.42 PM and ends at 6:07 PM
  
• Delhi - Starts at 4:03 PM and ends at 5:56 PM.
• Mumbai - Starts from 4:27 PM and ends at 6:03 PM
• Chennai - Starts from 4:40 PM and ends at 6:07 PM
• Kolkata - Starts from 4:18 PM and ends at 6:02 PM
  

What to avoid?

• Viewing the eclipse with naked eyes as it would be very dangerous
• Viewing the Sun through a telescope or a pair of binoculars without a proper filter as it could destroy the eyesight

Good News:

• NASA in partnership with the Exploratorium Science Centre, San Francisco, and the University of California at Berkeley, will transmit coverage of the total eclipse in a live streaming webcast. - Log on to http://www.nasa.gov


• Next solar eclipse again on July 22, 2009 [Some say January 26, 08]
  

Similar Links: Opens in new window

• Live coverage of Solar Eclipse
  
• Nasa - Solar Eclipse
  
• Times Of India
• Sify News
• The Hindu News
• Yahoo News
  

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Reasons for Not Making Love In 1 Year - Husband Vs Wife

TO MY DEAR WIFE:
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:
6 times you just lay there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

KEEP READING.......



TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
I think you have things a little confused.
Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching TV

Of the times we did get together:
The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.
I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on
my back or kneeling?"
The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.

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Killer English - Funny Angrezi

Have look at these killer english conversations.. Funny Angrezi... Isn't it?

• Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette...?
  
• Class teacher once said : " pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
  
• Once Hindi teacher said...."I'm going out of the world to America.."
  
• DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK..
  
• Don't..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....
  
• It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. And then she said "why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
  
• Teacher in a furious mood...
  
• Write down ur name and father of ur name!!
  
• shhh... Quiet... The principal is revolving around college
  
• My manager started like this
• Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids
• I'll illustrate what I have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board
• will u hang that calender or else I'll HANG MYSELF
• LIBRARIAN SCOLDED ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
• Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...
• My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter
• Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
• why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?!
• Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..
• I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
• Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..
• Keep quiet, the principal has passed away

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ICICI Vs HSBC Vs Barclays - Must Read

Who is the BEST - ICICI , HSBC or Barclays?

One day, three bankers, one from HSBC, one from ICICI and one from Barclays, went out for a walk.

"Why don't we prove who is the best among ourselves?"

Why not, said the other two.

The ICICIian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh, works for the best firm".

Being a pure logical strategist, the person from Barclays tried to make the monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still.

As a more practical banker, the HSBC guy tried to make funny gestures... No good, the monkey stayed put...

Now, comes the ICICIian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to be, he whispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out laughing at him..

The other two were astonished. So the HSBC guy said "OK, let's take another test. Let's make this monkey cry!!"

So there they went again, applying the same methods as before. The Barclays guy narrated sad stories, the HSBC guy made sad gestures, and they failed again...

Then, the ICICIian again whispered something into the monkey's ear and oh! It started crying, patting the ICICIian's shoulder!

The other two just could not believe their eyes! So the Barclays guy said "OK, you've won twice. If you can win just this one, we will bow to you. Let's make this monkey run".

And he barked at the monkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed where it was.. The HSBC guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the monkey- still No go.

So...here comes ICICIian, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. The Monkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if it was scared to death!

The other two surrendered.

They Said: "OK, we give up.

You're the best among us, and you work for the Best firm of the three. But please, please tell us your secret," they begged him.

"Well", said the ICICIian , "The first time I made it laugh, I told I work for ICICI . The next time, I told the monkey how much I get paid ...so it started crying.


And then I told that I was here for recruitment !!!

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Bangalore - Be Strong

We in Bangalore can keep the spirit of Bangalore high and ensure that no one can make us bow-down to pressures.

Courtesy: Maa Communications

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Next Bomb Blast in Chennai and Kolkata? - Its Rumor

Today I have got a mail as below:

Dear All,
Govt. has requested the people to avoid going to public places tomorrow, as red alert is declared all over Chennai following the serial blasts in Bangalore and Ahmadabad.
It has been guessed that they are following the word: BACK

B - Bangalore
A - Ahmadabad
C - Chennai
K - Kolkata

Please forward this to everybody you care for.

There is no confirmation about this message. So there is no need to be panic. This is just a rumor spreading in the form of an email.

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Bomb Blast In Kerala? - A Threatening Phone Call to TV9

Next bomb target is 'Kerala'? As per the news on TV9, today (July 27, 08) the office of TV9 got a call at 3:28 PM. The caller said that he is calling from the Pakistan and alerted that there will be a bomb blast in Kerala at around 7:00 PM. The Unknown said that he belongs to 'Mujahuddin' group.

Eventhough the caller said that the call is from Pakistan, it has been traced out that the call was made from the 'Internet'.

Kerala is on High Alert. The security has been tightened in all the sensitive and major places.

Is this the call to alert or to divert the officials to some other place and carry on the blasts at some other state? Only the time has answer!!!

How to handle with the situation?

• The citizens shouldn't be panic
• Everybody needs to be alert and should inform the police immediately in case if any suspicious things are seen, and help the police to handle the situation
• Its advisible to not to go out of the house unless going out is very urgent and important

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